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31.7.03
Our Hands Are Full
Hey! Check out the cover on that magazine.
(whistle)
Yowza!
* * *
House of the Rob and Scott
There is a house in Columbia
They call the Rob and Scott.
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy,
And God, I hope I'm not one.
I move into Rob and Scott's place today. (Thanks, guys.) I hope I don't do anything that gets me onto either of Scott's lists.
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31.7.03
28.7.03
Parental Advisory
I made this dirrty mix tape for my great friend Paul.
* * *
28.7.03
26.7.03
This One's for the Ladies
... Who have e-mailed me this week. Clare and Kate, thanks for the support and heads-up.
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26.7.03
25.7.03
Complaints
I just read an e-mail from Anne in which she mentions stupid people getting breaks. Then, I read an e-mail newsletter that linked to a story saying that Esquire and Jane — two magazines I enjoy — have given assignments to Jayson Blair.
I did not make that up.
* * *
25.7.03
23.7.03
Broken Link
I'm trying to be nice now.
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23.7.03
22.7.03
Catch the Fever
Perhaps this weekend people can get together and play Catch Phrase.
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22.7.03
17.7.03
There Is No Such Thing as a Free Lunch
Thank you Mr. Adams (for the Chili's dinner that you bought me). Thank you Prof. Allen (for the Addison's lunch that you bought me). Thank you Paul Underwood (for the Gumby's food that you shared with me).
* * *
'I Would Name Her Rock 'n' Roll'
"The Seed (2.0)" by The Roots rocks more than every song on The White Stripes' Elephant.
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17.7.03
16.7.03
'Just a Fan'
I am mediocre at everything I do.
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16.7.03
15.7.03
'Things that Make You Go Hmmmm ... '
So that gal Paz Lenchantin from A Perfect Circle joined Zwan, the new band with ex-Smashing Pumpkins Billy Corgan and Jimmy Chamberlin. Now, former Smashing Pumpkin James Iha is joining A Perfect Circle (third item).
It's like the ol' switcheroo.
But what about d'arcy? What about d'arcy?!
* * *
Clean Your Cucumber Before Consumption
From a draft of an editor's letter:
I am tired of scrubbing cucumbers.
Before tossing a salad for myself, I run the cucumber under water and try to rub away all the sticky chemicals on the peel. But once it’s peeled, there’s no guarantee the cucumber will taste right. The seeds are often yellow, and the vegetable is usually yucky. But I squirt on the dressing and choke it down.
Is that dirty?
* * *
Other
&%$@#*!
* * *
15.7.03
13.7.03
Mundane
• On the drive back from Kansas City tonight, my car's Service Engine Soon light turned off.
• My car managed to go 25.296008119079837618403247631935 miles per gallon since last Sunday.
• In the car, I sometimes listen to left-of-the-dial conservative or Christian talk radio programming just to get a quick case of the heebie-jeebies.
• I heard The Roots and The Postal Service on a Kansas City station that might switch formats to sports radio.
• I might apply for a job reporting on schools in Olathe, Kan.
* * *
Unmundane
• My mom reports that a bullet shattered a window and lodged in the wall of the house on our block where my sister babysits.
• My girlfriend rules.
* * *
13.7.03
9.7.03
'I Should Warn You'
Most people know I ramble when I tell stories. My friends at home have endured so many of my stories that they now make the International Hurry Up Motion — looking at their wristwatches — after hearing just the first few words of one of my tales.
Most people also know I fall asleep whenever, wherever, as Shakira might say.
On Sunday, I opened Esquire's "What It Feels Like ... " feature and read the following:
I would doze off in meetings, watching TV, even driving. You know how when you're regular tired, your whole body is tired? With narcolepsy, just the inside of your head is tired. It's like somebody's gently sitting on your brain. You have almost no focus. All you're thinking about is not falling asleep.
Jimmy Kimmel said that to describe his mild case of narcolepsy. Maybe he's describing mine, too.
I doze at my computer, while reading, in class, behind the wheel, while watching TV, while talking on the phone, at work, etc. I've always thought that I just don't get enough sleep. And I don't, but Kimmel also says that he typically falls asleep at the same time of the day. In the fall, I would fall asleep in my 17th century British literature class almost every Tuesday and Thursday. A few years ago, I would fall asleep in history of American journalism almost every Monday and Wednesday. (Both classes were after lunch. That might be a factor, too.)
So I share the dozing routine with Kimmel. But what's worse is that his description about what the tiredness feels like — "Just the inside of your head is tired. It's like somebody's gently sitting on your brain." — is frighteningly accurate. I have driven home many times while fighting a pressure inside my skull that pushes my eyes closed. I have to eat, drink Mountain Dew, sing along to mix tapes, make phone calls, shake my head back and forth, stretch, whatever to snap out of the tiredness. Kimmel's brain description is good, but for me, the sudden tiredness reminds me of hanging upside-down off the edge of a bed. You know when you do that, and the blood rushes to your head, and your chest is stretched and restricted so much that the wind feels knocked out of you before it enters your lungs? That's how I feel.
I think I have a mild case of narcolepsy. It's kind of scary.
But maybe I'm a hypochondriac. Maybe I'm neurotic. Maybe I'm paranoid.
Yeah. Maybe I'm paranoid. Because directly above the picture of Jimmy Kimmel in the magazine, a piece about how it feels " ... to Be Paranoid" appears. Knowing how I reacted to the narcolepsy story, I hesitate to read the paranoia story. What if I really am paranoid, as well?
* * *
'I'm Not Tired; / I Just Sleep'
Seriously, though. I think I have a mild case of narcolepsy.
* * *
9.7.03
8.7.03
'Quartergate'
Paul Jackson on Poynter.org.
* * *
8.7.03
4.7.03
Summerfest Blues
I heard Wilco at Summerfest in Milwaukee last night. (Because I couldn't actually see Glenn Kotche, I cannot say I saw Wilco.) Because I picked up my friend from O'Hare International Airport, fought fireworks/holiday traffic on the inbound Kennedy to drop off two of his DePaul pals and fetched two gals from DePaul, we missed Fountains of Wayne, whose new album received five stars from Blender, the most credible music magazine in the world.
Good stuff:
• Wilco played two or three new songs. The lyrics are precise, even straightforward, but effective. One song — possibly titled "At Least That's What You Said — reminds me of "We're Just Friends" or an anti-"Reservations."
• Speaking of "Reservations," the band played "Poor Places," "Reservations" and "I Am Trying to Break Your Heart" in that order. Just like the album on repeat! But the segue between the final two was pretty cool.
Complaints:
• People stood — stood! — on benches that stretched from stage right to stage left, so certain people who have enjoyed Wilco for years and have attended so many shows they cannot keep track anymore could not see.
• Lots of walking around and bumping into people during the show.
• Ninety minutes of music = not enough.
• And the big one — getting onto helpful Summerfest shuttles to distant parking is impossible because there are all these fences and things. I don't even want to talk about it. People were hopping over chain-link fences until they dismantled them. My friends and I wouldn't have gotten onto a bus if we had not risked getting hit by a bus and ducked under one of those orange construction fences.
Never again shall I go to Summerfest.
* * *
Landmarks
Next time you're in Wisconsin, turn on the Pink Floyd, switch on the interstellar overdrive and visit Bong Recreational Area and the Mars Cheese Castle.
* * *
4.7.03
1.7.03
Scum
I have not showered, and all I have eaten today are animal crackers.
But I have been looking for jobs all day, so eat that.
And I can't wake up without a snooze alarm. Don't blame me for getting up at 10:45 a.m. even though I set the alarm to wake me at 9.
This worthless blog entry has been brought to you by the Bush Administration.
The Bush Administration: All we care about is making money for our big-business interests. Screw the college graduates, and attend another $2,000-per-plate fund-raiser.
* * *
1.7.03
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